An expedition stumbles upon an ancient group of humanoid aliens

As soon as we stepped off the Appalachian trail into the forgotten village, we were swept away by the elder. He had seven eyes and three arms, and called us each by name. The strange man gathered his people to us, and told us of their story.

We took many pictures, and if there had been cell signal, we would’ve called all our friends and colleagues immediately. This was the find of the millennium!

After being regaled by the alien village elder he took us aside one by one into his lodgings, and whenever one of us emerged we wore an expression of utter awe and peace with the world.

When it was my turn to enter into the sacred lodge I was frightened, but I had no need to worry. The village elder told me everything I knew, laid my own life story before me, and told me how it would end. He spoke of my future spouse and children. He told me that my past transgressions against my fellow man were small, and were far outweighed by my contributions.

Hours seemed to pass in that lodge, but when I had emerged a mere fifteen minutes had transpired, and I too wore an expression of peace with the world.

There was food and celebration, and when the sun began to set the villagers urged us on our way. No wanting to displease these marvelous beings, and eager to report their whereabouts, we departed.

At the outskirts of the village the elder stopped to speak with me a moment.

“My son, once you have lost sight of our village you will forget it ever existed. Every picture you took will show only shrubbery, and every face that you remember will seem to be just a tree. We live a peaceful existence and cannot have our secret spoiled, but you shall carry with you, now and always, the serenity you now feel.” I was taken aback.

“Thank you friend for your gift of serenity, but how can your secret survive? Surely someone will come through here eventually.” The elder grinned knowingly.

“My son, this is New Jersey. We’ve worked many centuries to insure that no one wants to come here. Did you not see the Jersey Shore? My name is Snooki, and I bid thee farewell.”

Edit: i have been to new jersey several times, and know a few friends from there. It is a perfectly nice place IMO, but i just couldn’t resist taking a crack :).

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