A medical student surgically attaches google glasses and a micro computer to their face. The dean of the medical college contemplates what to do about this

“The student who performed the surgery is here to see you.” My assistant informs me.

“Give me a moment.” I tell her. I can’t believe he managed to afix the google glass to his skull without fracturing his skull. I saw the pictures and it was amazing the implant didn’t cause some sort of structural damage.

I should expel hir for the risk. I tell myself. If she’s this careless as a student, how much more so will she be with a MD?

But think of the benefit to mankind. The metaphorical devil on my shoulder replies. How large of a boon will such a device be to researchers everywhere? Instantaneous access to the complete knowledge of mankind with a mere thought? Vast medical statistics could be immediately provided to patients, or to speed up the diagnostic processes. We cannot let this invention end here.

But whose to say it will even work on someone else? I argue with myself. Perhaps her brain is uniquely suited to this device? It could very well cause an aneurism in other patients. It could still cause an aneurism in her.

So I have an answer for her then? I ask myself.

Yes, I think the answer is clear. I conclude to myself.

“Send her in.” I tell my assistant.

As soon as the bionic student sits down I launch into my recently prepared speech.

“You’re immediately dropped from the program.” I tell her as calmly as I can.

“How can you!” She shouts, standing up. “I did it by myself, and this thing.” She points to her face. “Really does work!”

“Sit down Eve.” I tell her. “I wasn’t finished. She looks torn between a decision to punch me or to burst into tears.

“As I was saying. You are no longer a medical student because no one who will take such unauthorized liberties with the human body should be let near a patient. Besides that our IT department hacked your internet feed and we knew you’ve broken the honor code by cheating on tests. However.” I quickly move on as she looks ready to stand up again.

“You have an exceptional medical mind that we cannot possibly let go to waste. So we are granting you three doctoral degrees with valedictorian status. I also have five offers from major tech companies, including google, who are looking for new research directors.” She stand up again and begins to simultaneously giggle and clap her hands.

“I will say that all of these offers, and the degrees, are contingent on you restraining yourself from future spontaneous acts of bionic surgery. From now on, you have to tell someone before you upgrade yourself. Now then, which offer would you like to discuss first?”

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2 thoughts on “A medical student surgically attaches google glasses and a micro computer to their face. The dean of the medical college contemplates what to do about this”

  1. Bit different from your other ones.
    1. “send him in” then “she”
    2. Immediately twice in one sentence.
    3. No MD but give 3 other doctorates?

    Like

    1. Perhaps a bit different, but a question of eyes is also eye augment related. I’m curious as to what highlighted this story as unique for you.
      1-I need to proof read more. Should be fixed now.
      2-ditto
      3-Yes, for the following reason. She is obviously not someone you want to have legal access to medical operations. Who knows what she might install on people, but she’s also wicked smart. So they can’t have her be a medical doctor, but they do want her in research.

      Like

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