Tag Archives: Love

The actual love drug

“Hormones?” He says.

“Yeah, I think they said there were modified stereoisomers of Dopamine and Oxytocin, or something like that. You can check the pamphlet if you want.” I thought Bryan would be extatic, but he’s giving me a flat stare. I know that stare, it was the same one he had given me when I suggested we move in together.

“So, did it come in a bottle? Or a pill?” He asked. It was an odd question. He must be stalling for time to think.

“An injection actually. Well, kind of, an injection. It was like when you donate blood and they stick something in your arm, only instead of collecting my blood they hooked up a bag and let it drip into my veins.” He nodded, and looked at his hands which he was folding and unfolding. I wanted him to say something to let me know what was on his mind.

“It didn’t hurt.” I said. “It felt a little cold actually. I guess that’s because the bag is much colder than my body temperature. Weird right? I mean if I touched the bag it wouldn’t feel cold, but I guess the nerves in your blood vessels are more sensitive or something.”

“So they put love in a bag.” He said. That hurt, it made me feel cheap.

“No, no, that’s not right, it’s all natural science.” She said.

“All natural?” He said. “You really believe that?”

“Well, yes, yes I do.” I fumbled out. I had believed it when I had first said it. I wasn’t so sure now.

“It doesn’t matter.” He said. “You’re telling me that you didn’t think we were strong enough.”

“No.” I quickly blurt out.

“Yes you are.” He said. His speech was slow. It wasn’t heated or loud, it was like he was reading a list of facts. “You didn’t think we could make it, so you gave yourself a love shot, and to top it all off, that means the thing you’re depending on in this relationship isn’t me. You didn’t trust me to build you up, so you needed some doctor or nurse to give you a shot of what you wanted, a bit of an emotional high. You didn’t want me, Jessica, you wanted to feel good.” I couldn’t respond to that, and he didn’t give me a chance.

“You know the funny part? I was ready to do forever with you.” He pulls out a small box out of his back pocket, and sets it down next to him. It’s the kind of box made for carrying one specific, very expensive thing.

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Love is experienced for the first time in a hundred years

“I don’t know. I just saw her the other day, and there was this light flying sensation, a bit like when you’re dizzy, but without the bad part of feeling unbalanced. I looked at her and things were just right you know?”

“No I don’t.” My father replied. “We did away with that nonsense a long time ago, and we had your brain checked just six months ago. Besides, what are you going to tell Jane?”

“I don’t know father, and it doesn’t make any sense to me either. Promise you won’t tell anyone?” Father scratched his head and looked to be fighting with himself.

“I’ve known you to be a good lad Jason. So I shall keep your secret, but please don’t betray my trust.”

“Thank you father.” I then leave and immediately walk outside to the park where I saw her yesterday, perhaps I will see her again. I won’t say anything of course, but just to feel that again, to see if it really was love. I sit on the same bench I saw her earlier for an hour, and nothing. Two hours go by, still nothing. I spend half the day sitting on a bench, and still she doesn’t come.

It was foolish of me to think she would. Why would she come this way again? I had better go home. I get up to leave, and then I see her.

The feeling comes back five fold, and I am immobilized by it. I cannot help but be enraptured by her. She walks by like an angel, or something out of a dream. Everything in me screams to go talk to her, and everything else screams at me not to. I don’t move a hair, until she rounds a bend in the path, and then she disappears. I know then what I must do. I pick up my phone and call Jane.

“Jane. It’s Jason.” I hurriedly say, trying to end this conversation as quick as I can so I can be after her.

“Hey sweetie, what’s going on?” Her use of the word stings a bit given what I know I’m about to do.

“Jane. I’m sorry, it’s over. I’m in love with another woman. I haven’t done anything yet, but I’m about to, so I thought I would end this to keep us both honest people. I can’t explain it Jane, but there it is.” There are several moments of silence before, in a cracked voice comes back over the line.

“I understand Jason. I feel the same way about you, so if you feel that way about her, then you have to go after her.” Remorse fills me, but the butterflies are still there. I want to say something to make it better, but the line goes dead.

I return my focus to the girl and rush after her. She had rounded another two turns in the path, but fate guides me to her.

“I’m sorry.” I say as I approached her. “I love you. I don’t know why, but I do, and I had to tell you. I just broke up with my fiancé to tell you.” Her mouth works wordlessly for a few moments, and then she asks me a few questions.

“Do I know you?”

“No.”

“We’ve never met before?”

“No.”

“But you broke up with your fiancé?”

“Yes.”

“And you feel love for me?”

“Undoubtedly.”

“Then you’re an idiot. Love is putting other first. Your fiancé put you first when she let you go, and you’ve just proven you feel nothing for me but infatuation. Did she feel love for you?”

“Yes.”

“Then you better call her and pray you didn’t just ruin the first true romantic love in a hundred years.”