Tag Archives: Pregnancy

Every conversation has two sides

Two sides of a phone conversation.

Side 1:

“Oh hey John, yeah my special lady is here. What’s up?”

“That’s horrible, when did you find out?”

“I’m so sorry man, is it chronic? I mean, is it going to be permanent?”

“Oh man I thought they had a cure for that.”

“Failed phase three clinical trials? That’s just terrible.”

“How long have you known?”

“Just found out, were there any signs or warnings to prepare you for this?”

“Got tested on a whim before there were symptoms. That’s a rough way to find out.”

“No, no, I can stay on the line as long as you want.”

“Are you sure? It’s really no problem.”

“Okay, I’m going to tell my wife. You two call us if you need anything. Seriously, our house is always open to you. You know that right?”

“Okay, take care man.”

Side 2:

“Special lady huh? That’s the code phrase for that ridiculous thing from high school. Well you’re going to love this then. Mary’s pregnant!”

“Oh hah hah, you know your wife is probably freaking out right now right?”

“Of course it’s not permanent! She’s due in eight months. Are you seriously going to do this for the whole conversation?”

“Now you’re just being mean.”

“Alright, well, you remember the deal right? You take a video of whoever is listening to you have this conversation when you tell them.”

“Oh just a few minutes. Thanks for asking a real question.”

“Surprisingly not, no morning sickness or anything. She just took a test because we had some that were about to expire.”

“It was pretty sweet actually. Like having Christmas come in the middle of August. Okay, you’ve had your fun. Now go calm down your panicking wife.”

“No no, really, get off the line before she has an aneurism.”

“Now you’re repeating what I say? Okay, I’m hanging up now.”

“It’s been great talking to you dude.”

“Remember, take video

Together:

“Oh hey John, yeah my special lady is here. What’s up?”

“Special lady huh? That’s the code phrase for that ridiculous thing from high school. Well you’re going to love this then. Mary’s pregnant!”

“That’s horrible, when did you find out?”

“Oh hah hah, you know your wife is probably freaking out right now right?”

“I’m so sorry man, is it chronic? I mean, is it going to be permanent?”

“Of course it’s not permanent! She’s due in eight months. Are you seriously going to do this for the whole conversation?”

“Oh man I thought they had a cure for that.”

“Now you’re just being mean.”

“Failed phase three clinical trials? That’s just terrible.”

“Alright, well, you remember the deal right? You take a video of whoever is listening to you have this conversation when you tell them.”

“How long have you known?”

“Oh just a few minutes. Thanks for asking a real question.”

“Just found out, were there any signs or warnings to prepare you for this?”

“Surprisingly not, no morning sickness or anything. She just took a test because we had some that were about to expire.”

“Got tested on a whim before there were symptoms. That’s a rough way to find out.”

“It was pretty sweet actually. Like having Christmas come in the middle of August. Okay, you’ve had your fun. Now go calm down your panicking wife.”

“No, no, I can stay on the line as long as you want.”

“No no, really, get off the line before she has an aneurism.”

“Are you sure? It’s really no problem.”

“Now you’re repeating what I say? Okay, I’m hanging up now.”

“Okay, I’m going to tell my wife. You two call us if you need anything. Seriously, our house is always open to you. You know that right?”

“It’s been great talking to you dude.”

“Okay, take care man.”

“Remember, take video”

Best of luck, worst of timing

Ha! Pregnant on the first try! My husband and I had decided to try just this month, after waiting for two years, and on the very first try we nailed it. Pun not really intended. I jump up and down for joy. This is amazing. I’ve got to tell Susie right away.

I run down the stairs and hop into my car to pop over to Susie’s. I call my husband on the way over to gush over him. He’s just as ecstatic as I am. This is just in time to spread the good news to Susie. We shared everything together. We had met our spouses on a double first date. We had graduated college and went into the same field. Aside from my incredible luck we could practically be the same person. She only heard last week that she was pregnant. We could go shopping for oversized pregnant shirts together now!

I pull into her house and run inside. I have a key to her house so I don’t have to knock. She even recognizes my footsteps running up to her room so she doesn’t freak out when I see her. Susie does give me an inquisitive look when I burst into her office like a crazy person, but she sees the stick I’m waving and knows what’s going. Her face lights up like a Christmas tree, but then darkens like a storm cloud. She turns the screen towards me. “The sonogram came back negative. I’m not pregnant after all.” I feel like a terrible person. This happens all the time. It’s why I always carry plenty of dark chocolate in my purse, and always save some sick days from work so I can stay home and take care of a friend.

Side note: To any interested the character Matrim Cauthon has a similar power set from the wheel of time. Not so much the timing, but definitely the luck.