Tag Archives: Video Games

To awake from this coma you must complete the quest

Respawn in 20 seconds

Okay, last time I tried the stealth approach to take out the forest guards before the caravan comes through. Hit the first two with my bow and arrow then went in with the knife for the chain combos. Chained up the first four, but the last one saw me before I could finish the combo. He called in the reinforcements, and I had taken too long setting everything before they came through.

Respawn in ten seconds

I had tried the run and gun approach several times, perfectly rehearsing my moves until it was practically muscle memory. Could never clean up all the reinforcements before they arrived. This was the eigth time I had tried the stealth approach. Maybe a combination?

Respawning now, remember, protect your family

Yeah yeah, protect your family, save the convoy. Well, might as well try the stealth approach one more time.

Climb the rock, swing over three trees so I can get the perfect angle. Count to twelve so the guards line up properly….. Now. Gotta make this quick, shot one, shot two, downward strike against the guy with his back turn, chain two kills forward, throw the knife. Dang, the fifth guy saw me. Taking him down with the bow, but he’s already blown the horn, and the reinforcement will get to the caravan before I can.

Nope, this is definitely not the way to do it. Might as well take a look around. I haven’t scouted the map much, and there could be a hidden item or something.

“Help…Me” One of the downed guards says. It’s the one with the horn. Must’ve only wounded him. The guards would say this if you only downed them. I never paid it any mine.

“It won’t matter. Once your buddies finish with the caravan everyone will respawn anyway.”

“Help…Me.” The guard asks again.

“Seriously, give it like twenty seconds. I can already hear them ambushing the caravan now.”

“Help…”

“Fine, what the heck, this should be interesting.” I walk over, lift up his mask, and to my horror, see my little brother’s face staring back at him.

“Help…Me…He won’t wake up.”

“What?”

“Call an ambulance, he’s not coming around. Somebody please help me.”

“I back peddle, dropping the helmet.” I haven’t been attacking my enemies this whole time. I’ve been attacking my allies, and…and they were somehow family?

“Help….me”

Respawning in 20 seconds

How? How was this possible. Where had he come from? Why was my little brother in my….dream? No this couldn’t be a dream. It had gone on for far too long and I remembered way too much. I didn’t have dreams like this.

Respawning in 10 seconds

What had he said after help me? He had said something about an ambulance. Then it hit me. This wasn’t a dream.

Respawning now, remember, protect your family

I had it wrong. My family wasn’t the convoy. My family was the guards.

I run into the middle of the road and start shouting orders.

“You with the horn, call for reinforcements. You three swordsmen with me, archers, up into those trees, they have a nice angle. We’ve got about forty seconds before the convoy shows up.

I look into the eyes of the swordsmen as they line up alongside me.

“Is he going to make it?” I recognize the far left one as my sister.

“We’ll get him to the hospital as soon as we can.” The two men on the far left echo simultaneously.

“Let us come with you!” One of the archers calls from the trees.

“You’ll have to meet us there.” One of the other archers calls back. I block out the rest. I can’t stand to hear my family worrying over me. They’re probably at my bedside right now.

“Convoy in range, arm fire arrows!” I call to the archers. I can see the reinforcements taking positions to ambush behind the bushes.

“Loose!” I call. Arrows tipped with flaming coals fly into the wooden wagons, forcing the pikemen onto the exposed path.

“Hold your positions, wait for the archers to draw them to us.” I call to my small force.

Sure enough, a few spearmen downed to arrows later, and they’re giving up their defensive spears for offensive shortswords.

“Now!” I call to the reinforcements, and we have them in a circle formation in the blink of an eye. Like cornered dogs they lunge at us, and like a well trained pack of wolves we bring them down one by one, until no one is standing.

Everything is dark, then very white.

“Remember protect your family.” I hear a video game announcer declare.

“You still playing that one level.” I hear an older male voice ask.

“It was his favorite, besides I never beat it.” A younger voice replies.

“Yeah, because you’re going about it wrong.” I sit up, telling my younger brother. “Here, give me the controller and let your older brother show you how it’s done.”

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An AI in a first person shooter becomes self aware on a date with the player character

Shaleen: “Hey, you ever feel like none of this is real?

Dialogue tree options

A: I know right? I get like that sometimes too.

B: ….What are you talking about?

C: Oh please you’re a computer simulation, you don’t have feelings. Here, I can say whatever I want and it won’t matter. Bomb the president! See? No NSA swooping down on me.

B selected

Player: “….What are you talking about?”

Shaleen: “I know. I know. It’s weird, and I don’t fully understand it, but there have been things that I just can’t explain. Like you know the insanely high crime rate? We’ve got 10 times the murder per capita rate of any city in the country and people still decide to live here.”

A: Aww, you look so cute when you use big phrases like ‘per capita’

B: I know right? Like sometimes I feel like I’m not controlling myself. You know what I did the other day?

C: Well, this is an exotic location. We’ve got mountain lions, orcas, loads of beach front property. I think if you know the risks it isn’t that bad.

C selected.

Player: “I know right? Like sometimes I feel like I’m not controlling myself. You know what I did the other day”

C selected.

Shaleen: “What did you do?”

C selected.

C selected.

A: I saw this guy driving down the street in this nice car, and something just came over me. I felt the uncontrollable urge to just throw him out of the car, and I did it. It was like I couldn’t control my own arms and legs. He got hit by a car after I threw him out and drove off. It still scares me to think about it.

B: I totally punched this orca in the face.

C: Got a date with the cutest girl in the city 😉

C selected.

Player: “I saw this guy driving down the street in this nice car, and something just came over me. I felt the uncontrollable urge to just throw him out of the car, and I did it. It was like I couldn’t control my own arms and legs. He got hit by a car after I threw him out and drove off. It still scares me to think about it.”

C selected.

C selected.

C selected.

Shaleen: “Oh my gosh, that’s horrible. My friend told me just the other day something similar happened to him. We need to do something about it.”

A: I know just what to do.

B: You didn’t think I’d figure it out player?

C:I’m done

Video game vision

Level 22 nerd Teddy looked like he had aced the test as usual. I give him a nod and a congratulatory handshake as we walk down the high school halls to lunch, making sure to dodge the level 50 harpy with her dress of +3 shrieking, and her troll boyfriend. She clearly had some buffs casted onto him, and the two were usually trouble.

I wave goodbye to Teddy as I go and sit with my level 5-10 crew of humans. We all had very ordinary stats, a video game move here, a leadership buff there, but we were all pretty normal guys. I liked it that way, no competition. Just some regular old people having some regular old conversation.

I notice that our quarterback is sporting a new special move, but before I can make it out someone sits down across from me. He appears to be just like me and my friends at first, until I see his class and level contain only question marks.

“Hey, did you guys hear about the quarterback’s sweet new fake punt move?” He asks, looking straight at me.

“Uh yeah.” I say.

“How could you know that?” My friend with +2 athleticism asks. “We just practiced that before school?” The mystery man shrugs, without breaking eye contact with me.

“I know things.” His eyes narrow. “Many things.”

“James Franklin Glasgow, let’s go.” The mystery man says.

“Go where?” I look to my friends, but none of them seem to hear.

“You shall see.” He says. I look at my friends. None of them seem to think this is strange, and I need to figure out what the question marks mean.

“Where are we going?” I ask, standing up and following him out of the cafeteria.

“To the afterlife.” He says. I try to dive away from him, but I’m suddenly unable to move.

“Your friends are about to figure out that you’re suffering a lethal allergic reaction to that crabmeat sandwich you’re eating. The mods have decided to pull you before it got too painful, seeing as you’ve been good enough to beta test ‘stat vision’ for us. They’re awaiting your report on the new special ability now.”